You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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