I love black thongs
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
