just tell him i said nine months
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
