Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
