I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize