Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
