i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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