See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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