You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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