Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

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(847): View more from Illinois

he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are you speaking in third person?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.

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(516): View more from New York

my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow

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(714): View more from California

You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!

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(217): View more from Illinois

This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."

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