That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts