I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.