I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening