What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
