I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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