I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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