Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
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Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?