He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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