you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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