Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Let's get the cat blown out
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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