Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize