South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
