Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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