community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
