Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
