but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
