her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
