The maid of honor just puked.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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