We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
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he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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