not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
