If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
