how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
