I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize