if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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