NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
