you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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