i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
