Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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