Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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