the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
