i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
These tits shall not be calmed
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
