I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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