I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
