But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
