He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
