dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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