I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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