after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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