Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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