You're my little dorito
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize