She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
