think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize