JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
