I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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