just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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