:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
