Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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