Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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