i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My cat gives me a boner
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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