Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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