i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize