Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
honey bunches of taint.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
