He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
