Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
