help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
