Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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