Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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