Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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