Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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