if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
