I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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