That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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