so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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