ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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