We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize